I was at a Mets game in Ireland as they played the Phillies and instead of the relatively easily-to-jump outfield wall, this stadium was bordered by what had to be a 50 or 60 foot rock wall.
So instead of leaping up and snagging homers as they just past the wall, the outfielders had to climb up the rock wall and make their highlight reel-worthy catches from up there.
Luckily for the Mets, though, the frequently hit homers spent a few minutes up in the air and the athletic outfielders had ample time to climb the rock wall... of course, a few brave Mets fell to their deaths but I figured they were making millions of dollars while they were alive so I didn't feel too bad.
My date to the ballgame (whom I didn't recognize... but was very hot) came back from the concession stand with the brochure to a Honda Civic looking car, two Gatorades and a pair of preserved baby alligator heads.
Weird.
Friday 29 January 2010
Thursday 28 January 2010
Kate Winslet, Strapping Fieldhands, formal wear and a Walkman
(Side note: I wonder why the majority of my dreams are centered around celebrities.)
Kate Winslet and I were walking through a snowy forest on a very, very dark night. Apparently we had just come from a black-tie affair as I was tuxedoed and she was in a blue ball gown which had sparkles dotted across the chest and up the length of her elbow-high gloves.
She kept saying how she needed a new mixtape.
In the distance, I saw a Walkman sticking out of the notch in a tree.
"Jackpot!" I said.
"But Gene (for some reason, I was Gene), we don't have a TAPE!!!" Kate Winslet said... "but it's ok... I know a place where we can get great coffee," she added.
I followed Kate Winslet to a rotted, crumbling shack in a snow covered clearing. She told me that we had to be quiet because the shack belonged to Strapping Fieldhands and that we were gonna break in and get a mixtape.
I found a hammer on a pile of rubble and was about the smash the front window out when Kate Winslet collapsed to the ground, sobbing "I can't hear anything!!"
Weird.
Kate Winslet and I were walking through a snowy forest on a very, very dark night. Apparently we had just come from a black-tie affair as I was tuxedoed and she was in a blue ball gown which had sparkles dotted across the chest and up the length of her elbow-high gloves.
She kept saying how she needed a new mixtape.
In the distance, I saw a Walkman sticking out of the notch in a tree.
"Jackpot!" I said.
"But Gene (for some reason, I was Gene), we don't have a TAPE!!!" Kate Winslet said... "but it's ok... I know a place where we can get great coffee," she added.
I followed Kate Winslet to a rotted, crumbling shack in a snow covered clearing. She told me that we had to be quiet because the shack belonged to Strapping Fieldhands and that we were gonna break in and get a mixtape.
I found a hammer on a pile of rubble and was about the smash the front window out when Kate Winslet collapsed to the ground, sobbing "I can't hear anything!!"
Weird.
Wednesday 27 January 2010
Tuesday 26 January 2010
Todd and the Frat Boy
I was living in a frat house with my (real-life) co-worker and we were interviewing some potential new roommates.
I was showing some frat douche around our massive, yet massively trashed house when frat douche and I came upon Todd sitting in a recliner, watching a televised Pop Warner football game while wearing a karate outfit.
"Hey Todd, this dude's thinking about moving in here," I told him.
"Cool," Todd said without looking up from the television. "I'll be honest, I think you're a pretty awesome dude, but first let me show you some of my moves."
Todd then leaped from his recliner and into a fierce karate-attack stance. He then proceeded to show us the kicks, punches and blocks the he claimed made him a countywide karate icon.
Weird.
I was showing some frat douche around our massive, yet massively trashed house when frat douche and I came upon Todd sitting in a recliner, watching a televised Pop Warner football game while wearing a karate outfit.
"Hey Todd, this dude's thinking about moving in here," I told him.
"Cool," Todd said without looking up from the television. "I'll be honest, I think you're a pretty awesome dude, but first let me show you some of my moves."
Todd then leaped from his recliner and into a fierce karate-attack stance. He then proceeded to show us the kicks, punches and blocks the he claimed made him a countywide karate icon.
Weird.
Italian Volcanoes and Vespas
I was in a gang... but it was more like a team... of Vespa riders, cruising through the mountains of what looked like Southern Italy when the slightly obese, very naked female leader of the team motioned, Navy SEAL style, that we'd pull off for some drinks at a mountainside cafe.
As we saddled up to the bar the naked leader ordered a couple of Budweisers and a man who appeared to be her boyfriend (and also appeared to be Ralph Macchio) ordered mimosas for everyone.
I had just begun sipping my shrimp juice cocktail when the cafe started to rumble and a nearby mountain exploded into the sky...
Naked leader jumped up, yelled "LET'S GO!!!" to the team's unified "HUUUURAH!!!" and onto our Vespas we hopped as she drove the crew straight into the heart of the volcano.
Weird.
As we saddled up to the bar the naked leader ordered a couple of Budweisers and a man who appeared to be her boyfriend (and also appeared to be Ralph Macchio) ordered mimosas for everyone.
I had just begun sipping my shrimp juice cocktail when the cafe started to rumble and a nearby mountain exploded into the sky...
Naked leader jumped up, yelled "LET'S GO!!!" to the team's unified "HUUUURAH!!!" and onto our Vespas we hopped as she drove the crew straight into the heart of the volcano.
Weird.
Friday 22 January 2010
Kim Gordon, The Go Gos and a Volkswagon Scirocco
Boston - Late 80s - but Kim was, for some reason, in her late 40s. I was still 27.
I was at a hardcore show and when I left, Kim was outside leaning up against her teal Volkswagon Scirocco smoking cloves... the driver's side window was open and The Go Gos were on the stereo.
"Need a ride?"
"Sure."
"Cool. But first let me show you some of my bumper stickers."
After explaining to me how the Rolling Stones logo sticker was affixed in protest and the "Lick Pussy, Rock Hard" sticker was just a joke, we were off.
"I need to pick up my daughter first," she said as we careened through damp suburban streets.
We pulled up to a dimly lit house and out ran Kim's daughter who was, oddly enough, Lea Thompson dressed and made up as her character from Howard the Duck.
Weird.
I was at a hardcore show and when I left, Kim was outside leaning up against her teal Volkswagon Scirocco smoking cloves... the driver's side window was open and The Go Gos were on the stereo.
"Need a ride?"
"Sure."
"Cool. But first let me show you some of my bumper stickers."
After explaining to me how the Rolling Stones logo sticker was affixed in protest and the "Lick Pussy, Rock Hard" sticker was just a joke, we were off.
"I need to pick up my daughter first," she said as we careened through damp suburban streets.
We pulled up to a dimly lit house and out ran Kim's daughter who was, oddly enough, Lea Thompson dressed and made up as her character from Howard the Duck.
Weird.
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